Nick Offerman's Viking Funeral

I have a web page that should help me update more often.  It is here.  This is a good thing.  Sometimes, all you need is an idea.  An here is a list of ideas.  I like it.  So, today, I am going to tell you about 5 sites I visit on an almost daily basis, not counting Facebook.

The first one is sort of a cheat.  It is only updated on Sundays, but I am always there to check it out.  It is Post Secret.  I could tell you what it is, but the guy who founded it does a better job.  Every Sunday, a fresh batch of secrets are posted, sometimes with a running theme.    Like secrets about mothers on (you guessed it) Mother's Day, etc.  I almost always cry and sometimes I say "hey, that's my secret, too."  No, I have never sent in a secret.  Though I have plenty.

The second one, and this one is a bit embarrassing: is a gossip site.  But it is a really good one, I swear.  It is called Crazy Days and Nights.
 It is run by someone who really knows their stuff- he (maybe she) has some great stories and some heartbreaking ones.  Hollywood is one twisted place, and here's where all that twist is paraded in front of God and everyone.  Best part?  He names names.  On  New Years Day and July 4th, Enty takes all the best blind items and reveals them.  Here's a great example:
          Ever wonder why these two reality judges hate each other? It is because the female judge threw herself at the male reality judge and being who he is, he had sex with her. He never mentioned it again. She wanted more. He said she was good for 15 or 20 minutes, but could never spend longer than that with her.

Adam Levine & Christina Aguilera

SEE!  Juicy.   There are also reveals on Saturdays and sometimes holidays.  So, yes.  It is a bit trashy, but also makes me feel like just maybe I have a firmer grasp on my life than some others.

Then, comes The Nerdist.  A place for all things nerdy.  I highly recommend the podcast by Chris Hardwick.  Sometimes, it is like they are speaking a foreign language, but when it is good it is EXCELLENT.  Dave Grohl, Anthony Jeselnik, ALTON FREAKING BROWN!!!!  And Nick Offerman, who is trying to talk his wife, Megan Mullally, into letting him have a viking funeral.  To hear him describe how each of his cast members from Parks and Rec would go about setting him on fire. . .priceless.

Another site I visit frequently is Funny or Die.  What?  You have not been there?  You have not seen Between two Ferns?  The Landlord?
Check it out.

Also, in the same vein, is The Onion.  Best story recently?   David Fincher To Helm YouTube’s First Hour-Long Drama Series 'Turtle Has Sex With Shoes'  That is really an article.  Need I say more?


Plus, of course, Arrested Development on Netflix.


So, that is five.  Kind of a boring post, no?


I leave you with one of my favorite videos:

So, now I am a morning person. And a podcast person.  And I am teaching, sort of.  I am up early on a Saturday, waiting for my son to wake up.  Rain is POURING down and I have no idea what is going to happen today.

There is no Homeland right now.  I have Game of Thrones, which I am also reading on my kindle when William lets me have it, Elementary (thanks, Dianna), Veep. . .SO FUNNY but LOTS of bad words, and finally, Community.  Community lost its footing for a while- not so much that, but after Dan Harmon left, it felt like its heart was gone.  The comedy seemed forced and the cast members seemed less invested in the crazy.  This happens a lot on television.  Somehow that "magic" fades away.  This is one of my favorite clips from Community:

Right?  So funny because everyone was committed to the Bit. 
Dan Harmon was the creator and show runner on Community.  He was fired.  He heard about it from the internet.  Supposedly, he was going to continue to be involved in the show somehow.  This is what he said:

"I do want to correct a couple points of spin, now that I'm free to do so: The important one is this quote from Bob Greenblatt in which he says he's sure I'm going to be involved somehow, something like that," Harmon wrote. "That's a misquote.  I think he meant to say he's sure cookies are yummy, because he's never called me once in the entire duration of his employment at NBC.  He didn't call me to say he was starting to work there, he didn't call me to say I was no longer working there and he definitely didn't call to ask if I was going to be involved.  I'm not saying it's wrong for him to have bigger fish to fry, I'm just saying, NBC is not a credible source of All News Dan Harmon."

HEY!  STOP MESSING WITH GOOD SHOWS.  YOU ARE RUINING THEM, FACELESS NETWORK EXECUTIVES.

Creative types are difficult.  I know because I am married to one.  I don't know Dan Harmon,, but if he gets mad at everyone because his files won't attach to his email correctly or if he is out of coffee creamer or if he forgets it's his son's field day or if you ACCIDENTALLY drive over the lawn a tiny bit to get to your drive way, but it's really his fault for not parking the van properly. . .well, maybe he deserved a bit if a reprimand.  But we put up with it because they are creative. 

Community has come back a bit lately.   Let's keep our fingers crossed for season 5.

FIRED.  Yup.  I was fired.  Never happened before, but I will move past this, for sure.  Now I am going to do something that I really love.  Can you watch TV for money?  I bet you can. 

So, what have I watched lately??  GAME OF THRONES.  Where is Ramsey Snow??  I have been waiting for this character for a while- to be played by the amazing Iwan Rheon.  Iwan is a supremely talented Welsh actor and singer.  He was in Spring Awakenings, a great Broadway musical (though he played in England), for which he won an Olivier Award.

He was also on the excellent BBC show Misfits- which you ALL should go watch right now.


I'll wait.


Awesome, right??  Nothing like that on American TV.

And also this:

So, the wonder of Iwan Rheon.  Look for him on Game of Thrones as the irredeemable character Ramsey Snow, the Bastard of Bolton.

And welcome to all my old fellow workers at that place.  I will miss you all.

Oh, yes.  What is an Olivier Award you may ask?  It is the London stage version of the Tonys.  The one that Wolverine hosted.  Yup.  I went there.

Until next time.

Something lost

I look into the mirror, and I am a shell of my former self.  How did I get so lost.  I am not the precocious girl, so full of promise.  Cock sure and wry.  I am middle aged and basically a failure.  Girls I went to school with are doctors and lawyers.  Indian chiefs.  Once, I read prolifically.  everything from Shakespeare to Leonard.  Now, my eyes are so bad I can barely read my computer.  .I can't blame drugs. . .or alcohol.  Just indifference.  How can I recapture. . .not youth, but vigor.  Hopefully, with this blog, I can find my way back.  For my son's sake.  And my husband.  I am driving him crazy. 

This was the quote under my yearbook picture:

Live fast
  Be a spark and glow a while 
You'll be dead a long, long time  
Be a shooting star 
And in one mad moment 
Burning bright Light the night 
And make us stand in awe 
Live fast 
Be a supernova 
Explode now while you can 
Then flashing in the pan 
Be a streak of red 
Against the grey  
Do it young  
Don't let time slip away  
And make us real 
And feel And see 
Your beauty 
Live fast.

Tim Minchin in the morning. . .

I have a son who is not normal.  Really, there is no better word for it.  I know, everyone's child is unique, special, blah, blah, blah.  Mine, though, is not neurotypical.  Isn't that a strange word?  He sees the world in a completely different way.  I take him to the park, and he will fixate on a loose piece of plastic he can spin on a chain.  I take him to the water park and he just wants to touch the motor that makes the wave pool function.  Right now, he wants to download all 165 (yes, 165) YouTube apps in his iPad.  He wants the same toy, over and over.  He freaks out when I use the microwave without his assistance.    Unfortunately, along with this overdeveloped sense of whimsey comes an interesting streak of violence.   He takes various medicines, goes to different types of therapy, but honestly, I could not have a better, more appropriate kid.  I take him everywhere.  Do people stare?  Yes.  Does he do stupid stuff in public?  Of course.  Have I had the police called on us when I could not control his meltdowns?  Yes.  I have taken him to four-star restaurants and asked to be seated by an outlet so he can play on his iPad.  Mostly, it all works out.  People are generally pretty cool.  But the awesome thing about him is that we can share obsessions.  We spent the morning on the couch watching Tim Minchin live at the Royal Albert Hall.  With the Heritage Orchestra.  Yup, every 7 year old's dream.  But he watches it, over and over with me. 

So, enjoy Tim Minchin who is also, very obviously, not "normal."  The brain is a very interesting, pliable and varied organ.  Maybe, the more different, the better.  As for me,  I will never wish for my son to be normal, as long as he is happy. 

This is a link to The Nerdist Podcast with Dave Grohl.  It seems he made a documentary about this really famous studio where lots of seminal records were made.  He is also a good interview and I love Chris Hardwick.  So, another stark illustration of my nerdiness.  Though Grohl is pretty cool, I do not think it trumps Chris Hardwick and a podcast actually called "Nerdist."  Best part?  The mutual appreciation for Rick Springfield.  It is cool.  Give it a listen.

This is becoming a clearinghouse for my random crap.  Sorry, but I feel better having a place to put it.

Also, the other night I had a dream that I was running down the street naked and came across Bo Burnham hitchhiking.  Insanity is close, dear readers.

The Absent-Minded Poster

I really love to laugh.  My life is generally steeped in difficulty and chaos, so laughing is very important to me.  My favorite person to laugh at (or with) is Steve Martin.  When I was very young, I had a friend, Genie Hero.  Genie was a theater geek, went to the local performing arts school and new cool guys with crazy piercings and even crazier cars.  She played this song for me, and it was transforming.  This is not Eddie Murphy or Richard Pryor (which was the dominant comedy at the time)-not offensive or rude, but smart and funny.  I never knew funny could be smart.  Here is some of my favorite Steve Martin.

These are great examples of I guess what is comedic about the absurd.  I still have the same sensibility:  What is truly funny is truly subversive.

Genie is now a successful actress and has a very creative position in the arts somewhere- I am too embarrassed to get in touch.  I  cyber spy on her every once in a while.  I hope she knows what an impact she had on me-  she planted the seed in my mind about what I am constantly in search of- something DIFFERENT.  Something I have not seen before.  Something I have to deconstruct.

That sensibility carried over into my academic life, too.  But that is boring.  And this was supposed to segue into Anthony Jeselnik at some point, but maybe later.  So, enjoy the Steve Martin.  I know I did.

I am watching Damages, which is as good as advertized.  Strong women, great writing, but the thing that stands out the most about it is the use of the flash forward/backs.  They are fluid and really help carry the story and maintain tension.  So often those type of scenes are a) hard to discern from the regular time line scenes, b) so differently shot that they are incongruous with the rest of the show and therefore jog you out of the story or c) are just used as exposition.  Bravo to Damages for excellent execution of an often difficult and usually clumsily employed literary device.

I tried to find some clips that display this deftness, but I could not.  So, here, instead is some gratuitous Timothy Olyphant:

I also love the funny.  What is funny?  Well, that is an entire other entry.  But this. . .is some of the funniest people in the world in one place.  This comes from The Green Room with Paul Provenza (who is actually not as funny as the other guests).  We all need to laugh more.  Chris Hardwick is a hero of mine.  He encouraged me to embrace my inner nerd.  In fact, his definition of a nerd is spot on.  I obsess over things down to molecular detail.  It amazes me that everyone does not do this.  This is going to be my portal.  High points:  Is it wrong that I want to fuck your accent AND Have you not seen Dane Cook?

Haha.

Hello minions of dorkery.  Yes, that is a word.  Don't go look it up, just TRUST ME.  I know these things.  This is my blog.  I have been threatening to start one, and now it is here.  What will I talk about?  All things nerdy, pseudo-intellectual (and some actually intellectual), current eventy or. . .well, just anything.  I will not talk about who I am specifically.  That is boring.  Again, trust me.

I will never talk about my work.  Not that it is top secret, just that it is boring, plebeian and very often drives me to tears.  So, no. 

I have a deep and abiding love for stories.  Great stories-literature, both classic and modern, movies, and above all TV.  Great TV. 

I also have a deep and abiding love for children.  Especially for special needs children.  I will post stories about that, also.

So, from where did the name of this blog come?  I love Homeland.  Just love it.  I really looked forward to it, and even more that that, I love to talk about it.  So I would ask people.  Perhaps, desperately, do you watch Homeland?  Somehow, this developed into the legend that I run up to random people, and often the same people, yelling "OH MY GOD.  DO YOU WATCH HOMELAND????"  Myth, I assure you.  Pure conjecture.  But now,  when I am distracted or being too serious, someone will come up to me and say. . .well, you can guess.  So here we are.

First, and most importantly, this news:

J.J. Abrams may direct the new Star Wars!!!!

May the Force be with you.